| 40 Lessons We Sought to Teach Our Children Dennis and Barbara Rainey I will never forget that incredible moment when our daughter Ashley was born. The doctor cleaned her up and handed her to us. I (Dennis) wanted to blurt out, “Thanks for the gift, but where are the instructions?” When we started out, we had a few ideas of what it meant to be a parent and raise children. Two years later we added a son and we realized that we had better become intentional about what we wanted to do as parents and teach our children. As a result we began a list of 25 things we wanted to teach our children. Then it became 40, 50, and even more. (For your sake we’ve shortened the list back to the top 40.) Some of these lessons began during the first year for each of our six children, while others were emphasized later during childhood or adolescence. Today our children are adults and our role in their lives has changed. We have moved from being teachers to being cheerleaders and advisors, when asked. Raising children requires huge chunks of time, prayer, discipline, involvement, and relationship-building. This list of values and traits has helped us focus on biblical priorities in raising children to become mature adults of faith and godly character. Above all, fear God. Respecting authority—trust and obey your parents. The importance of friendships. Be in love with Christ and focus on your relationship with Him, not just on doctrine or on biblical principles. Have compassion for the poor and orphans. Believe God for too much rather than too little. Real strength is found in serving, not in being served. The power of moral purity and a clean conscience. How to motivate people without manipulating them. How to handle failure. Keeping your promises. The power of the tongue for good or evil. Giving too much rather than too little. The importance of manners and common courtesies. Viewing life through God’s agenda—the Great Commission and the Great Commandment. Give thanks to God in all things. The importance of prayer. The art of asking good questions, carrying on good conversation. How to grow as a Christian. How to handle temptation. By faith, trusting Christ as your Savior and Lord, and sharing with others how to become a Christian. Seeking wisdom—skill in everyday living. Knowing how to make good decisions. Gaining a sense of God’s direction and destiny for your life. Staying teachable and not becoming cynical. Obtaining godly counsel. The importance of flexibility and adaptability to cope in life. Truth is best passed on through relationships. Leaving a legacy of holiness. Keeping life manageable. Prioritizing decisions. Taming selfishness—learning you can’t always get your way. Choices are yours to make and results are yours to experience. Respecting the dignity of another person and of all people. Being faithful in the little things. Character is the basis of all leadership. Life isn’t fair—don’t compare with or be jealous of others. Living by commitments, not by feelings. Expressing grace and forgiveness. A strong work ethic. Surrendering to the authority of Christ. How to handle your finances. We should mention that, after number one, the items on this list are not presented in any order or priority. We realize the list may appear long and daunting. But we suspect that if you began a list of your own, you’d quickly find that it’s just as lengthy. That’s because parenting is a long and challenging task. Fortunately we have a God who gives us the strength to accomplish the tasks He lays before us (Philippians 4:13). We encourage you to lean on Him. No we didn’t perfectly teach each and every one of these 40 things, but it was a guide to remind us of what was important. But we never stopped training, teaching and cheering them on. As Galatians 6:9 tells us, “And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary.” Listen to Dennis and Barbara's series on a biblical approach to early childhood discipline on FamilyLife Today. For your reference.it's from Yeeyan.com: 我们尝试教育孩子的40条功课 丹尼斯 和 芭芭拉 雷尼 我永远不会忘记我们的女儿阿西里出生的那个不可思议的时刻.医生把她打理干净,然后递给我们.我(丹尼斯)想要冲口说出,“感谢这个礼物,但哪有指导说明书呢?”我们刚开始的时候,对于当父母和抚养孩子,只是知道一些.两年之后,我们又有了一个儿子,我们意识到在当父母和教育孩子方面,我们最好有所策划. 因此,我们起草了一份列表,列出我们想要教孩子的25件事.然后这份列表又变成了40条,50条,甚至更多.(为了读者的缘故,我们已经缩短了列表,使它只有前四十条.)这里的一些教导开始于我们的六个孩子中每一个的头一年,同时其他的教导都着重用在孩童或者青少年时期.现在我们的孩子都是成年人了,我们在他们生命中的角色也发生了改变.我们从老师变成了拉拉队长和咨询顾问. 养育孩子需要大块的时间、祈祷、训练、参与以及建立关系.这份有特点的列表已经帮助我们专注于圣经的优先权来养育孩子,使孩子成为有信心和敬虔品格的成熟的成年人. 1. 首先,最重要的是,敬畏神. 2. 尊重权柄——信赖和顺从你的父母. 3. 友谊的重要性. 4. 一直爱着基督并把焦点放在你和祂的关系上,而不仅仅是在教义或者圣经原则上. 5. 对贫穷人和孤儿有同情心. 6. 更多而不是更少得相信上帝. 7. 真正的力量是在服务他人中被发现,而不是在被服务中. 8. 道德的纯洁和一颗清洁的良心的能力 9. 如何调动人们的积极性而不是操控他们. 10. 如何对待失败. 11. 持守你的诺言. 12. 舌头为善或为恶的力量. 13. 多给予比少给予要好 14. 礼貌和普通礼节的重要性. 15. 通过神的计划——重大的呼召和重大的命令来察看生活. 16. 在一切事上都向上帝感恩. 17. 祷告的重要性. 18. 提出好的问题和持续好的会话的艺术. 19. 作为一名基督徒如何长进. 20. 如何处理诱惑. 21. 凭着信心,信靠基督作你的救主和生命的主宰,并和他人分享如何成为一名基督徒. 22. 探求智慧——日常生活中的技能.知道如何做出正确的决定. 23. 获得对于上帝的指引和你生命目标的认知. 24. 保持驯良可教,不要变得愤世嫉俗. 25. 得到敬虔的劝告. 26. 生活中善于机动且适当应对的重要性. 27. 真理的最好传递方式是通过关系. 28. 留下圣洁 29. 使生活易于管理.给决定排优先级. 30. 制服自私自利——要知道你不能总是不顾别人反对而为所欲为. 31. 选择是用来让你做的,结果是用来让你体会的. 32. 尊重他人和所有人的尊严. 33. 在小事上忠心. 34. 品格是所有领导能力的基础. 35. 生活并不是公平的——不要比较也不要嫉妒别人. 36. 凭承担的责任而生活,不要凭感觉. 37. 表达恩典和宽恕. 38. 良好的职业道德 39. 降服于基督的权柄. 40. 如何管理财务. 我们须要说明一下,这份列表上第一条之后的条目不是按照任何顺序或优先级而提出的.我们意识到这份列表会变得很长而让人畏缩.但我们怀疑如果你开始了你自己的列表,你也很快会发现它正是冗长的. 这是因为父母对孩子的养育是一项长期而又具有挑战性的任务.幸运的是,我们有一位上帝,祂给我们力量来完成祂布置给我们的任务(腓立比书4:13).我们鼓励你去倚靠祂.这40件事情中的每一件,我们都没有做到完美的教导,但是这是一份指南来提醒我们什么是重要的.但我们不会停止训练、教导和鼓励他们.正如加拉太书6:9告诉我们,“我们行善,不可丧志;若不灰心,到了时候就要收成.” |
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